It's Not About Your Stuff

Naked Blogging with my clothes on

Last month, I had the honor of attending the second annual BlogHer conference in San Jose, CA. My favorite session was called Next Level Naked, staying naked as your body (of work) changes, an intense and lively panel discussion and conversation with about 200 attendees dealing with issues of openness, anonymity, public discussion of one's personal life and the pros, cons and ups and downs.

This was a powerful topic for me as I have been thinking more and more about entering into a deeper realm of topics, exploring the darker regions of our emotional lives and our resistance to change, and possibly even to do clutter and project management coaching on the blog with people who volunteer. Kind of a real time case study. If you are interested in this, please let me know.

One of the people on the panel was Maryam Scoble, wife of Robert Scoble, blogging guru and former Microsoft CEO. What a delightful woman! She said something at the end that left me really thinking...she mentioned that she was vastly more interested in seeing someone in a sexy negligee than in seeing them naked, that the mystery was what was compelling to her.

graphic by ShadeSiren

That got me thinking...

In the case of someone's personal blog, yes, I agree, it makes sense to leave some things to the imagination, but in the case of a personal growth or lifestyle management blog such as It's Not About Your Stuff, I want to be truly fearless. My intention is to open myself deeply and to create a safe place for people to comment and talk about any insights or revelations they may have come upon, in hopes that these aha!s might spark someone else's awakening.

I hold to the strictest code of confidentiality. I pledge to always keep my case studies anonymous and never to reveal anyone's identity without their express and written permission.

As an organizer, I constantly have my hands on people's sensitive information, their bank accounts, credit card information, social security numbers and passwords. Luckily, I have one of those brains that can't keep numbers in my memory for more than about 45 seconds! All this responsibility has made me very aware of what an honor it is to hold someone's trust and how much of a responsibility it is. Not to be taken lightly.

So...if you are interested in plumbing the depths with me on this blog, totally anoymously, just send me an email with your phone number and a bit about what you have going on and we can talk.

Remember, I am on your team!

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       ((¸¸.·´  ..·´   Jessica -:¦:- 

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Are you hoarding your stuff? How's that working for you?

A few days ago, one of my readers decided to write me an email because of the concern he had about his clutter. I asked him if I could share our correspondence and he said he would be happy to let others read our emails if it might help someone. Thank you, John!

Here is what he wrote:

Jessica,

I really enjoyed the article. It was recommended by www.woot.com. I have a getting-rid-of-clutter question that I have never seen answered anywhere before. I have fifteen years plus of clutter in every room including the garage. Very little of any real value [my emphasis] but these items were purchased over the years. And there's the rub, the term purchased. I feel if I give or throw away something that I am throwing away money since the item represents the money that was paid for it. Furthermore charities such as Goodwill in the area have a reputation that the help takes all the best items for themselves and leaves the rest for the store. The idea that someone else may enrich themselves with something that I have purchased and donated bothers me enough that none of the clutter moves out of the house.

Thanks,

John K.

My response:

Greetings, John and thanks for your question.

I can't speak definitively, but I certainly am willing to tell you my experience, opinion and intuition about this question you have posed. I hope it's ok that I am very direct with you, that is the only way I know how to help. You will need to ask yourself some very difficult questions if you really want to have the freedom that comes from letting go of things you no longer need in your life.

You mention that many of your things have "very little if any real value" and yet you are willing to store them, maintain them, and allow them to remain in your energetic field. As you probably know from physics, everything on earth has an energetic as well as physical weight and therefore whatever you keep in your direct surroundings literally costs you energy.

Even if you are not conscious of it happening, the clutter, which after all is simply an unmade decision, (or otherwise it wouldn't be called 'clutter') is taking up your valuable energy. This can be draining and can actually make you sick. Have you ever noticed how much more difficult it is to concentrate in a cluttered room? That's because each object is silently screaming for your attention! You have to work increasingly harder over time to drown out the noise.

Clutter is also often used as a tactic to 'punish' others in your life and to keep you insulated from feeling the feelings of vulnerability or anger you have inside. In my opinion, this is not an effective way to manage your life! When you speak about the monetary value (which is paradoxical, because you start by saying most of your stuff isn't worth much), I hear a certain level of hoarding and fear.

What are you most afraid to let go of??

ok, gang, it's time for you to weigh in and 'fess up! I wanna know what you are squirreling away in your drawers, closets and garages that you really could be throwing out. Come on, this is an anonymous quiz, I won't be showing up at your doorstep (unless you hire me, of course!), but I'd like to see you have more space. That's a good thing, right?

Remember, I am on your team!

..· ´¨¨))  -:¦:-
         ¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
       ((¸¸.·´  ..·´   Jessica -:¦:-

     -:¦:-    ((¸¸.·´*

(BTW: if you want to get my blog posting updates automatically by email, just click here to subscribe, that way you don't have to keep checking back every day. It's a three step process and it takes about 2 minutes all told)

Clutter Hotspots, ya got one?

Come on, everybody, 'fess up, I promise I won't tell your mother!

I will take a photo of my most embarrassing hotspot to post next week after the results are in.

Remember, I am on your team!

..· ´¨¨))  -:¦:-
         ¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
       ((¸¸.·´  ..·´   Jessica -:¦:- 

     -:¦:-    ((¸¸.·´*

(BTW: if you want to get my blog posting updates automatically by email, just click here to subscribe, that way you don't have to keep checking back every day. It's a three step process and it takes about 2 minutes all told)