It's Not About Your Stuff

Sound familiar?

office pranks! office pranks! office pranks!

I just couldn't resist...this just in from Squidoo:

[WARNING: this post has NO point to make whatsoever!]

photo from Happy Post-it Day Flickr set

Mastering the Office Prank

You spend eight hours a day with these people!  Eight hours a day!  Eight hours with people you don't even get to pick.  Eight hours with the guy who has something to say about EVERYTHING.  Eight hours with the sci-fi dork who lives in his parent's basement.  Eight hours with mother earth who eats tofu for lunch and keeps breast milk in the office fridge.  Eight hours with people who would eat your lunch if it didn't have your name on it!

Sure, you all get along - most of the time.

But, you must laugh to retain your sanity.  Without laughing with (and at) your co-workers, the cubicle's half walls might just close in on you - lodging you between a file cabinet and your PC.

Office pranks are perfect.  When you laugh with someone, you become friends - even if you have nothing in common.  Office pranks can bring an office together.  Oh jeez, forget the sappy stuff.  They are funny as hell !

Check out the options...since I've never worked in a real live office, I didn't realize there were so many pranks to pull. People get reeeeeeeeealy creative when they are suffering from corporate abuse!

There are photos and how-to's for everything from filling your co-worker's cubicle with styrofoam peanuts to encasing a fellow employee's mouse in cherry jello.

And, just in case you start to get too out of control, there is a list of "inappropriate pranks" and an explanation of what is and isn't acceptable in the pranking world. Hmmm.

As if the photos, lists and admonishments weren't enough, there is a link to eBaum's World where someone has listed all the pranks they have pulled on their buddies at work, here are a few choice examples:

Do a "Print Screen" of the user's desktop, and then paste the image from the clipboard to a photo program, and save the image as a bitmap. Then, set the 'snapshot' of their desktop as the actual desktop wallpaper. (You'll have to hide the Windows status bar, and move all their desktop icons into a folder, which you can hide conspicuously in the corner or something.) The user will see their desktop as always, but everything on it will appear to be frozen when they try to click on it...sending them into a rebooting and virus scanning fit!  [if you understand this, it's pretty funny, but boy, it's MEAN!]

When two (ore more) people are working a desks that are put next to each other, switch their telephone cords. With all those cables lying around it will take some time before they find that one out!

With someone who is on the phone a lot during work - This works if you have phones that the handset comes apart. Take the handset apart and put scotch tape over the mouthpeice inside. They can still be heard, but they have to talk loud to be heard. The next day take it off, and put it in the earpeice. Usually they will be yelling to the other person on the line the next day, and won't be able to hear them. When they complain about the phone, and get a replacement, do it on the next phone. After about a week you will notice the calls to be down considerably.

Ok, now I KNOW why I work at home!

To get into the spirit of things, I found this prank on YouTube, pretty funny!

Remember, I am on your team!

..· ´¨¨))  -:¦:-
         ¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
       ((¸¸.·´  ..·´   Jessica -:¦:-

     -:¦:-    ((¸¸.·´*

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The holiday elf in all of us emerges eventually...

Thanks to Office Max, I can show you the 'real me' for the holidays!

The thank you elf named Jessica

photo courtesy of crazyhatsandties.com

Remember, I am on your team!

..· ´¨¨))  -:¦:-
         ¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
       ((¸¸.·´  ..·´   Jessica -:¦:- 

     -:¦:-    ((¸¸.·´*

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Holiday hacks for you and your friends

ok, gang, I am Jewish, so my daughter and I follow the ancient Talmudic tradition of Chinese food and a movie on December 25th. It's actually fun, and we have been going down to L.A.'s Chinatown and trying out different places each year. Shu Mai photograph © copyright 2003 by Rhonda Parkinson

This year, I got smart, and started hob-nobbing with some food bloggers, like H.C. of LA & OC Foodventures, who made some alternate suggestions for our dining pleasure. We'll be heading off to Alameda or San Gabriel this Yuletide, and it will be a very dim sum Christmas for us!

I have some great resources for you this year, to ward away that holiday stress!

Holiday Hack #1- don't get too worked up about things.

Here's a photo of one of my dearest friend's dog, Leo, dressed in festive garb, frolicking in the snow on Whidbey Island. (why is it that dog owners love to humiliate their pets by dressing them in embarrassing costumes?)

Shame on you, Tricia, but boy did I have a good laugh at this one! (Leo actually doesn't look too bummed out about this). I especially like the 'bling' on his antlers! Leo is one of my favorite dogs in the world. He is a sweetie.

Here, Leo gets more serious, contemplating the true reason for the season. (or maybe it's just his paws are freezing?)

If anyone else has some funny Holiday photos, please send them to me and I will post them here on the blog.

Holiday Hack #2- the perfect hors d'oeuvre treat for your invited guests. This man, Charles Phoenix, is an expert on Americana from the 50s and 60s, boy does he know how to make a party rock! Move over Martha! (the link is actually to some great Christmas Tree trimming suggestions with this link.) This video, only 3 1/2 minutes long, is hysterical!

Holiday Hack #3- do trees feel the pain of being cut down? Does anyone care? Well, a few years ago, I solved my compassion dilemma by purchasing the world's coolest Tabletop Fiber Optic Christmas Tree. It sends ripples of rainbow colors throughout the branches and tickles the part of me that loves glitter. All you do is plug it in and stand back---hours of holiday merriment! And the best part is, no messy needles on the floor and I don't have to fight over who takes the dead and crumbling tree out to the trash next March.

I have a blast finding itty-bitty ornaments for my tree each year at the after-Christmas sales. I get some real pine boughs to lay across the windowsills so the room smells like Christmas, and we are all primed to watch Miracle on 34th St and It's a Wonderful Life on my friend's projection TV and sing Christmas Carols.

Holiday Hack #4- the most fabulous and miraculous therapeutic grade essential oils, Young Living Essential Oils is having a special, if you purchase their diffuser kit (normally $130.00) any time before December 31st, 2006, you get three seasonal essential oils for free! (a $62.00 value).

The oils you get in the kit are Evergreen Essence, Christmas Spirit and Citrus Fresh.

Here are the properties for these oils:

Christmas Spirit™ taps into the happiness, joy, and security associated with the holiday season. With Christmas Spirit™ on hand, all you have to do to begin spreading good cheer is open a bottle and start diffusing. [Boy, does this smell heavenly. It would go well with your fiber optic tree!]

Evergreen Essence™ takes you back to nature by combining the scents of a variety of aromatic pine, cedar, and spruce trees. Crisp and invigorating, it refreshes your senses. This blend changes slightly from season to season. Evergreen Essence™ is a seasonal item that is not available year round. [my favorite smell is pine. Young Living only makes this oil for this time of year!]

Citrus Fresh™ is a relaxing, calming blend loved by children and adults alike. Rich in the powerful antioxidant d-limonene, it supports the immune system and overall health while bringing about a sense of well-being, creativity, and feelings of joy.* It also works as an air purifier. [this oil can be put in your drinking water to dissolve that holiday flab! It's great for cooking and some people use it for stretch marks]

I tell you what...I am feeling generous. (fiber optics do that to me) For the first three people that want to order this kit, I will pay your tax and shipping and handling (a $20-25 value!). Just email me and let me know if you are interested and we can make it happen.

The bottom line? From Atheist to Zoroastrian, this is the time of year to look within, spend some fun and simple time with your loved ones, extend a hand to those less fortunate than yourself, look forward to the year ahead with consciousness, and try not to eat too many cookies!

photo courtesy of Stan Sholik Photography

Remember, I am on your team!

..· ´¨¨))  -:¦:-
         ¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
       ((¸¸.·´  ..·´   Jessica -:¦:-

     -:¦:-    ((¸¸.·´*

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Here's a Santa Joke I heard recently:

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

Oh my god, I am IN LOVE! with Daniel McVicar('s blog)!!

Ok, I've got a secret, something up my sleeve that I will reveal to you all in the next few months.

But for right now, in the process of doing some reasearch, I came across a most fun video blog, or vlog. It's called Late Nite Mash with Dan McVicar. Dan McVicar has another blog that is sleeping now, called The McVlog. The site's still up, and you can spend/waste a whole hour watching the archives, like I just did. He is a natural for the camera.

Some of you may recognize Dan as 'Clarke Garrison' from the immensely popular The Bold and the Beautiful, the most watched soap opera in the WORLD! I think he has had that part for over twenty years! I guess it pays the bills?

I wouldn't know about the show, as I don't have a TV, but when I was looking around for photos, I did get to see how surrealistically beautiful he was back in the 80's, almost like a Ken Doll.

photo courtesy of z.about.com

I think he's much better looking now that his features have mellowed, and boy is he funny and smart! That, to me, is what makes a good video blogger: someone who comes from their heart. I don't know if you have to be beautiful, like Amanda Congdon, or quirky, like Zefrank, or perky, like Zadi from Jet Set Show. They all have heart, too, don't get me wrong.

But there's something about Dan that touched me. Maybe it's because he looks like he should be arrogant because he's so good looking, and then it turns out he's really not.

Check him out on his cameo appearances on the Craig Ferguson show:

I like the Thanksgiving one.

What do you think?

Remember, I am on your team!

..· ´¨¨))  -:¦:-
         ¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
       ((¸¸.·´  ..·´   Jessica -:¦:- 

     -:¦:-    ((¸¸.·´*

Did you find this post helpful? You can easily get my blog posting updates automatically by email! Just click here to subscribe to the feed, and you won't have to keep checking back every day.

WOW! This is gorgeous!!

I found this in my nocturnal wanderings...

Amazing Sand Drawing by Jim Denevan

Gorgeous, mind-boggling Pavement Drawings by Julian Beever. Keep in mind that the only thing that is not a drawing is the artist and the stairs and back wall. It's really wild! Check it out.

WOW!

The incredible truth about WD-40

Here's a little something I got in an email today from an old boyfriend: this was totally written by someone else, I don't know who "I" is, but it sounds like they've done their homework! Hey, for real, there are some great tips in here that I never knew...check it out:

WD-40

Well, Who Knew?

I had a neighbor who had bought a new pickup. I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw that someone had spray painted red all around the sides of this beige truck (for some unknown reason). I went over, woke him up, and told him the bad news. He was very upset and was trying to figure out what to do -- probably nothing until Monday morning, since nothing was open. Another neighbor came out and told him to get his WD-40 and clean it off. It removed the unwanted paint beautifully and did not harm his paint job that was on the truck. I'm impressed! WD-40 -- who knew?

Water Displacement #40. The product began from a search for a rust preventive solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a "water displacement" compound. They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40. The Corvair Company bought it in bulk to protect their Atlas missile parts.

Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you. When you read the "shower door" part, try it. It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass. It's a miracle! Then try it on your stovetop... Voila! It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed.

Here are some of the uses:

1) Protects silver from tarnishing.

2) Removes road tar and grime from cars.

3) Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.

4) Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making it slippery.

5) Keeps flies off cows.

6) Restores and cleans chalkboards.

7) Removes lipstick stains.

8) Loosens stubborn zippers.

9) Untangles jewelry chains.

10) Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.

11) Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.

12) Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.

13) Removes tomato stains from clothing.

14) Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.

15) Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.

16) Keeps scissors working smoothly.

17) Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes

18) Removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly so hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.

19) Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!

20) Gives a children's play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.

21) Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.

22) Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.

23) Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.

24) Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.

25) Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.

26) Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.

27) Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.

28) Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.

29) Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.

30) Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.

31) Removes splattered grease on stove.

32) Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.

33) Lubricates prosthetic limbs.

34) Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).

35) Removes all traces of duct tape.

36) Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.

37)

Florida

's favorite use is: "cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers."38) The favorite use in the state of New YorkWD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.

39) WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. Also, it's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states. 40) Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.

41) WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.

42) Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and re-wash. Presto! Lipstick is gone!

43) If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.

P. S. The basic ingredient is FISH OIL.

P. P. S. I keep a can of WD-40 in my kitchen cabinet over the stove. It is good for oven burns or any other type of burn. It takes the burned feeling away and heals with NO scarring.

         ¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
       ((¸¸.·´  ..·´   Jessica -:¦:- 

     -:¦:-    ((¸¸.·´*

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I don't like guns.

Artwork courtesy of Roberto Sabas

Today, I got off the bus in Seattle, on my way to Day 3 of the Blog Business Summit, and a man in a yellow shirt, brandishing a pistol, came running by me. There was a tall and beautiful woman walking next to me who immediately got on her cellphone and chatted animatedly about what had just happened, as if she were at a cocktail party. I was much more 'verklempt' about it, and was in awe at her cool. I wasn't sure if the guy was a wacko, and would come back, shooting, or what. She just thought it was a good verbal 'blog post'.

A few minutes later, the man (quite overweight) ran back toward us, considerably out of breath this time, and we realized that he was probably a cop, as he had a holster.

Beware! You are being judged by the state of your cubicle!

What do you think? Does your workspace say something deep and important about you and your efficiency? Or worse, how your boss and coworkers perceive your efficiency? Or scarier yet, does your work environment reveal something fundamental about who you are?

According to an article from Psychology Today, (Betrayed by your Desk, July 2005), as commented on in Bert Webb's Open Loops Blog, why yes, in fact, the state of your workspace is tattling on you! Here's what he says:

According to Sam Gosling, a personality researcher at the University of Texas, Austin and Meredith Wells, a psychologist at East Kentucky University, here is what your office might be saying to your supervisors, bosses, and co-workers:

• Plants & Foliage – plants that are well-cared for indicates someone who plans to stay.
• Post-it Notes – An over-reliance on Post-It Notes is a sign of overwhelm.
• Whose Got the Time? – Those who “get it done” are time conscious and will often have a time piece somewhere to help them keep track of the time. “Clock lovers are often meticulous and hardworking.”
• Family Photos – The interpretation of this one is divided.  Some psychologists say family photos are a status symbol. Others say they are a genuine reminder of loved ones and are displayed due to guilt of so much time away from them.  Look at how the photos are displayed.  Facing guests?  Think status symbols.  Facing the office owner?  Personal reasons for display.
• Candy Bowl – This can be anything that lures others into the workspace.  It is an indication of an extrovert.  Introverts don’t place anything that draws others in their workspace.
• Motivation Plaques, Posters, etc. – This person is engaged in their job and wants to stay engaged.
• Posters of Celebrities or Historical Figures – Indicates values and aspirations.
• Level of Personalization – How much personalizing (i.e., decorating) a worker does to their space indicates the level of security in their environment.  They are comfortable enough to make it their own.
• Tidiness – Although we try to hide this by shoving items in drawers, psychologists say this is a personality trait that is extremely difficult to change.  A neat and organized desk and workspace indicates a neat and organized person.  “No matter how hard people try to clean up, usually they can never fully hide their true nature.”
• The Empty Desk – Barren work spaces indicate a worker who has little status in the organization and who probably isn’t dedicated to his/her job.  These people simply are not committed.

So, if a messy space means you are a disorganized person (did I need to read a study about that?) where do you weigh in on the messy desk Richter Scale? photo courtesy of OSPH

I DID IT!

Just to let you know, as of 9:43 pm PST this evening, I dipped below 100 emails in my Inbox, down from well over 500 last week! I have been relentless in my efforts to pare down my visual overwhelm, because I cannot think straight when I am flooded.

Here's a post I did a few days ago on clearing out your Inbox, if you need some help. It worked for me!

Here's a quiz I hope you'll participate in!

Remember, I am on your team!

..· ´¨¨))  -:¦:-
         ¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
       ((¸¸.·´  ..·´   Jessica -:¦:-

     -:¦:-    ((¸¸.·´*

(BTW: Did you find me fabulous? Do you want to get my blog posting updates automatically by email? If so, just click here to subscribe, that way you don't have to keep checking back every day.)