This weekend is some of my last days that I have to get everything packed and organized and ready to move. My room looks like a tornado swept through it and I am having a difficult time focusing because of my emotions.
It seems I get bursts of energy to organize and I make great headway for a few hours before losing steam. The best strategy I've found so far is to set myself a finite task (such as wrap all my chotchkies in bubble wrap and carefully pack them in a box). Yes, I do have knicknacks, gew gaws, trinkets, but not many! Carefully selected! Edited! Refined to be only the ones I adore. This was my criteria this time: do I adore it? Then I turn on the TV to my favorite show: old Clean House episodes or an old movie on TCM and the time passes quickly. (a friend suggested last night that I scroll through all the movies and DVR the ones I want to watch so I had a great line-up today!)
In truth, even though everything is topsy-turvy right now, I recognize that it's more emotional than anything else; I am dismantling my energetic field, the place I have called home for the last five years. And even though I have not one iota of regret about leaving, because I have moved so many times in my life, the feelings are coming up to meet me and it makes me want to whine and avoid and distract myself with anything else (like writing a blog post!)
UPDATE: I just spent the entire day packing, rearranging, purging (I've actually already done most of that, but there always seem to be a few more things I can let go of) and wrapping a zillion little things in bubble wrap. On one level it feels like a relief because I way exceeded my goals for the day, but on the other hand, I feel so raw and vulnerable right now, like I am untethered from my mooring. I am neither here nor there, and that is always strange and uneasy for me.
I am clear that I am to leave LA now, but I have no idea what the future holds for me where I am going. Sometimes, it's really obvious that I am doing the right thing by moving to the Cape, but then I get scared and think 'what the heck am I doing?' Staying is not an option, but going somewhere blind just seems crazy in a certain light. The thing is, there's no alternative place to go that has made itself apparent, so I am left with no choice but to surrender and trust. Or live contracted and fearful. (NOT an option!)
I was told years ago by the fabulous astrologer Gretchen Lawlor that I am someone who is moved in 7 year cycles. It's like the cycle moves me, rather than me being in control. It's not the same as feeling the victim, it's more like hearing an inner prompting and going with it. (even though in a way, it feels like I don't have a choice!)
So, Cape Cod it is, my next step. The thought of being within breathing distance of Cape Cod Bay/Nantucket Sound fills my DNA with delight. The cold and salty Atlantic water is my home.
So stay tuned for tales of my exciting adventures! I am off for a quick visit to the Cape this coming week to interview with two fabulous job possibilities. As I see it, I can't lose. That's a good place to be.
Thanks for being on my team!
¸.•´ .•´¨¨))
((¸¸.•´ ..•´ Jessica -:¦:-
