1. It makes room for the wild, unruly unknown. When your fist is clenched tight, it hurts. There is no breathing space. Nothing can come in, nothing can go out, it's stagnant and contracted and fearful. Is that how you want to live your life?
(Photo courtesy of University of South Wales)
I know someone who was heartbroken several years ago and who still holds on to the past for dear life. What is he missing right now by holding on to something that is no longer there? He will never know. Holding tight to the past, justifying and declaring loudly his right to remain in pain, he lashes out at anyone who dares suggest that he move on. No room for what's next--- for that surprise around the corner, the one that may hurt or may delight---chance.
The unknown can be scary, sure, but if you really think about it, the stuck, ugly known is far worse. At least when you are in motion, you have a choice to stay or go. When you are stuck, by definition, you have forfeited any choice.
2. There's more breathing room. I don't know the science or psychology behind this, but when we are holding on emotionally, clutching to the past, our lungs constrict as well and we don't breathe as deeply as we could. In an effort to maintain control, we are actually restricting the amount of life energy (or prana) that comes into our being and it's more difficult to think clearly as a result. You get smarter when you let go!
A deep breath helps to let go. I have heard it over and over, as my clients are decluttering, that same exact sigh...grief, relief, release, sadness, all rolled into one long syllable. That moment is always bittersweet because I know it's a necessary step to the goal they have, but it doesn't always feel great right then. When you find yourself there in that place of the sigh, see if you can open to trust in that moment, for that is where the beauty lies, in the release of the hurt and pain and fear of scarcity. It's the beginning, as well as the end, of something.
3. You 'get' more! It's a true paradox, but you actually get more, if you honestly let go down to the bone, there is then room for what you really want to come in. Over and over and over and over I have seen the vacuum-abhorring Universe fill the newly-empty space with something sparkly, seen or unseen. That, to me as witness, is joy. And sometimes what comes in to fill the space is a profound sense of peace, or a deep realization or a healing within. How could 16 black cashmere sweaters or 18 sets of dishes compare to that? So many times, my clients declare that they feel like they have more as we remove the stagnant, dead weight.
4. You gain an understanding of what is valuable to you. If you were to walk around your life, internally and externally, and assign a number from 1-10 to everything---every thought, every pair of socks, every friend, every minute, dollar, calorie you spend or waste---where 1 is "eh...no big deal" and a 10 is "yeah! baby!", how much of your life right now is in the upper numbers, let's say 8-10? How can you even see what is valuable when it is buried in and around with stuff that has no meaning to you? Once you dig out all the vibrant stuff, wow. How can your life NOT change?
5. You feel light and giddy and free! I have several clients who have kept their wedding dresses in special storage boxes taking up precious space, even though they have been divorced for decades. Even when you don't think about them consciously, things take up space in your energetic field. If you don't believe me, try letting whatever it is go and see what happens...ah...but maybe that's the point?
Imagine what you don't even know is holding you back! Try looking in those scary dark places in your home, you know which ones I mean, that closet upstairs, those boxes in the attic, that file cabinet in your garage, the clothes in your closet. You will be amazed at how quickly you can whip through and make the long awaited decisions and how easy it is to let go. That is because when you cut the cord of attachment, by time or distance or by just moving on with your life, that thing that had so much meaning to you at one time, becomes "just a piece of yellow cloth". (that's for you, PN!), or a broken shotglass, or a file of owner's manuals...
6. You feel a sense of accomplishment, like something is finally complete. How many things are on our to-do list that we never ever get to? Sometimes 'letting go' means dropping the reins by either taking something off your plate completely because it doesn't inspire you, or delegating the task to someone else. In either case, you are complete with it and you are free to move on to something that energizes, rather than drains you. If we are talking about a relationship, then we are allowed to let go of someone that is taking from us energetically. If this is a family member that you cannot 'divorce', then setting clear boundaries for yourself is the functional equivalent.
I once had a younger client whose mother was very intrusive. She frequently barged into his room without knocking and attempted to draw all the attention to herself, regardless of what was going on. It was very draining for my client and he felt understandably resentful towards his mother. I once asked him why he didn't insist that she knock, and he said it was because she wouldn't listen. I encouraged him to try and clearly establish a boundary for himself, rather than for her, and the next time I was there, she actually knocked and waited until she was given permission to enter. Something was finally complete.
7. It's cheaper to maintain your life. Storage, maintenance, cleaning bills, fear of theft, locks, alarms and guards, therapy, time shopping, keeping up with the Joneses, disorder and disarray, time spent looking for lost items, too many choices, overwhelm, that nagging feeling of dread that too much stuff won't vanquish. Owning too much (emotionally or physically) is EXPENSIVE.
8. You get to find out who you really are without all your 'stuff'
9. Other people can really see you. This could be considered the scary part, yet I think it might be the most important. Who would you be without your baggage? What kind of person would you attract if you had nothing to hide behind? What kind of response would people offer you as you walked around in your life, exposed? Who could you invite in that you have been holding at arm's length? If you are ready to really be seen, the only way to accomplish that is to let go of pretense---all pretense. Take a breath, expand your awareness to outside of your physicality and see what drops away.
10. Forgiveness is enlightening. I used to think that clutter was just unmade decisions, it's sort of the mantra of professional organizers, but taking that a step further, I wondered WHY don't we decide? You've heard it a million times, but maybe not in this
context, that in order to be free, you must forgive yourself first and then release yourself from the tyranny of resenting others. In my own personal experience the split second I deeply forgive myself, release myself from shame, I find it impossible to hold a resentment towards someone else. That's what true freedom is---the ability to be fully alive in the present moment and resentment is ALWAYS about clutching the past. Forgiveness is the purist form of letting go.
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((¸¸.·´ ..·´ Jessica -:¦:-
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